Posted in Blogging, Junk Shop Finds, TV and Films, Videos

Ghostly Babble

I recently watched a video by Russell Brand on the subject of ghosting. He said sometimes people really don’t mean to do it but if they do, it’s telling you something about that relationship. You don’t have to give that person up, but need to change your expectations. That is true, but I’ve realized that sometimes the ghoster is genuinely tired or depressed, but is still glad to hear from you. So Russell is right to say we should change our expectations — but sometimes it’s less about how valued we are and more about how the other person thinks, communicates or operates. Probably he meant that too, as it’s about managing ourselves and not others, accepting that others can’t always keep up.

So, is it possible to ghost one’s own blog? I accept it’s disappointing when a blogger writes posts you like but only twice a year! The best bloggers are the reliable ones who post frequently. There are YouTubers I’m always in the mood to listen to, and if they disappeared (which some unfortunately have), I’d feel at a loose end. Some have longish gaps between videos, for whatever reason, and I start casting around fractiously for recent signs of their existence. It’s worse these days because of frightening current events. I need ingormstion, reassurance and the sense of agreeable company.

That should have been ‘information’, not ‘ingormstion’  but it’s what happens when you type on the phone.

We are in my sister’s car in the town centre, drinking Costa coffee. I took it into my head to ask for espresso, and the small paper cup that came back felt strangely light.

“Awww,” I said. “A baby coffee!” and felt senselessly maternal. Drawing back the plastic lid, I found a tiny splash of dark coffee inside. It barely covered the bottom, and had a light fringe of pale bubbles.

It was certainly strong — tasted like hot Guinness. I don’t like Guinness. I’m more of a sweet stout person.

I started this post because a text said I was 80% through my data allowance. Having turned my connection off, I wondered what I could do that didn’t need the internet, and remembered my blog. Perhaps there’s a lesson in that. We are more likely to get on with pet projects if our option to go online and pootle about is curtailed.

The only thing I bought in town was a Red Dwarf boxset. TV is very dull, so every night at supper time we watch an episode from my collection of DVDs. We’re currently part of the way through the Upstart Crow boxset. I asked my mother which was her favourite actor in it, and she said Kate. Mine is Kempe. He gets a brief monologue in each episode and always makes me grin. He said real comedy isn’t what you say, it’s what you don’t say. I think that’s quite often true! When minds meet without a word being said, it’s funny.

Back to the topic of online videos and podcasts; I both love and detest them. They are where the real conversation is, but too often there are no captions and I can’t follow. More and more, when scrolling through Facebook, I find videos from platforms other than YouTube. The likelihood of them having captions is thus decreased by 99.7%. If there are captions, it’s because somebody burned them into the video, which I’m always grateful for. 🥰 I used to wish people didn’t do videos when they could write an article instead, but I don’t now. I just wish I could follow many more.

To finish, here is a video I found on YouTube a while ago, less than 5 minutes long:


I live in the UK with two cats -- Samson and Delilah.

3 thoughts on “Ghostly Babble

  1. A friend and myself kind of ghosted one another for a few years after a conversation in which we were at odds about my first novel which she’d just read. It wasn’t as straightforward as that, but it’s too involved to go into and that’s the gist of it. On reflection she was depressed, going through a difficult time and I think she projected her own negativity into my novel. This was about a year before the pandemic. Just yesterday we met up again! I’d met her in the street by accident a couple of weeks ago. I felt this flush of forgiveness and affection, thinking why fall out over a book!, so I decided to meet her for coffee as she suggested. We had lunch yesterday, talked for two hours. The book was only mentioned in passing and it was strange. Now the book was being ghosted. I think she’s probably going to read my second one, but irregardless we’re back on track. How weird is life, people??
    I’ve also ghosted my own blog for months at a time after being very regular, but I can’t force myself to do posts, and want to enjoy writing them. So that’s fine with me.
    As for the video, what wisdom therein, so I’ve subscribed and can listen when I’m painting. So cheers for that and for this post :>)

    1. I didn’t see your comment till just now! Thank you. Perhaps a little ghosting now and then is better than somebody saying something irretrievable like ‘farewell forever!’ or something equally adrenalin-fueled and unfortunate. In most cases it’s just a sign of life being too much at the moment, but one or both friends may only be part of the cause, or not at all. I’ve had that feeling too, that being able to chat with someone is nicer than continuing to resent something they said… and maybe even if they hot-headedly ended it, they probably miss you anyway. Boats are rarely worth burning, though the way I phrased that is a little strange. 😅

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