Tag Archives: self-identity

Friday Hair Blogging

We both have colds… Mum had to cancel her flu jab. I told her next year she should make sure of having the flu jab before she starts playing Bridge! The nurse says her chest sounds like an organ.Β I’m not like that but I feel funny around the middle… sort of cold.

So, keep away…..

Just now we were watching The Coach Trip (one of their eternal repeats) and a couple of men said (rather sadly) that they are good at annoying people without meaning to. “Yes,” confirmed one of them; “it’s very easy, really.”

“Actually,” I said to Mum, “it IS easy to annoy people. It’s as though they think they can pick and choose their friends, and that there will always be new ones along. Not like in the old village communities!”
“There, people picked their enemies and stayed with them,” said Mum.

One of the boys on The Coach Trip was saying how he rather hated two of the girls, but instead of making up with them, he continued to keep his distance as it was easier just to make up his mind and stick with it.Β I wonder if it’s important for human beings to be able to say “I really don’t like so-and-so,” as a matter of pride. It seems to be a way of expressing your identity, particularly if a whole group of people decide that So-and-So really isn’t cool.

I keep musing about friendships, don’t I!

Anyway, to explain the title of this blog post, I came here to apologize for being so quiet, and to show you one of the reasons I have been ‘away’… trying to draw hair and fur in Photoshop! It’s not easy. It sounds easy when you know how, but all of the time you’re working on it, it looks terrible, till suddenly (after several minutes of slaving) it begins to look possible. And you have an unsettling feeling that it could easily go bad, or not be a success at all. Maybe it will be a bad hair day!

PS: The Pom-Pom was the most aggravating to make. And WordPress crunched my last hair picture when uploading… Now it looks duller than it was. I hate having things forced on me… like with the double-glazing regulations!! But that’s another story.

Experimental hair drawing

Colourful Pom Pom made in Photoshop

Hairy Heart made in Photoshop

Mousy hair drawn in Photoshop

Oh, and I’ve not seen Breakfast at Tiffany’s yet

Yep, this is me! The three lines that rang a bell with me most are:

I like a good discussion but not a confrontation
being confused about what I really want
not being listened to or taken seriously

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz…

You Are an Audrey!

mm.audrey_.jpg

You are an Audrey – “I am at peace”

Audreys are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

  • If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don’t like expectations or pressure
  • I like to listen and to be of service, but don’t take advantage of this
  • Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit
  • Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It’s OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally
  • Ask me questions to help me get clear
  • Tell me when you like how I look. I’m not averse to flatter
  • Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings
  • I like a good discussion but not a confrontation
  • Let me know you like what I’ve done or said
  • Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life

What I Like About Being an Audrey

  • being nonjudgmental and accepting
  • caring for and being concerned about others
  • being able to relax and have a good time
  • knowing that most people enjoy my company; I’m easy to be around
  • my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
  • my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
  • being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What’s Hard About Being an Audrey

  • being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
  • being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
  • being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
  • being confused about what I really want
  • caring too much about what others will think of me
  • not being listened to or taken seriously

Audreys as Children Often

  • feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
  • tune out a lot, especially when others argue
  • are “good” children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

Audreys as Parents

  • are supportive, kind, and warm
  • are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Singing My Own Airs

I’ve been at the tester perfumes in Boots again. I wish I could say I’m smelling of Monsoon, but I’m not, as it’s worn off already. I liked it; it was a livelier fragrance than Delirium – but it faded by teatime, whereas I could still smell Delirium the next morning.

I’ve decided to try one perfume a visit. It should be fun to pick out my very favourite and get it. Delirium heads my list so far, though both would be nice to have.

There’s a little bit of late rebellion going on here… I used to wear the perfumes Mum got for me (like Anais Anais), and would avoid the ones she hated (which were most of them). I recently finished a canister of L’Aimant which was a Christmas present, and am now on a canister of White Satin, also a Christmas present. All told, I’m a dutiful wearer of fragrances, though I liked Just Musk as a teenager and insisted on wearing that for a while. I ruined it for myself eventually when the smell of Dad’s new car made me feel queasy, and I put Just Musk on a tissue and held it to my nose… after that, I associated the smell of Just Musk with feeling ill. Stupid.

I asked Mum what she thought of Monsoon today, and she looked disgusted and said “no, I don’t like that. I liked the other one.”

“I like them both,” I said.

At home I found a box of Anais Anais perfume waiting on my chair, still boxed. She found it in a charity shop at half price, obviously an unwanted Christmas present. Hmm… yes, I like Anais Anais, but I’ve worn it before, and Mum wears it herself. I want something different… something I chose myself.

In Tesco’s, I noticed they were selling chocolate eclairs at half price, so I put them in our basket. Mum wrinkled her nose and said, “I don’t like eclairs.”
“I like them,” I said. I had two tonight.

Who, Which, What, Where?

Chani suggests that everybody answers these 35 questions. Sometimes I think it’s easier to give a point of view when prompted, rather than come out with odd snippets out of the blue… and some of these things are good to say.

I enjoyed filling this out. Some questions I’ve answered before (but can still come up with something new), whereas others were quite hard to answer, and made me think.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

A more inclusive world with more balanced aims and methods… and far fewer control freaks. πŸ™‚

2. What is your greatest fear?

Being misunderstood, spurned and never fully heard.

3. Which living person do you most admire?

I really don’t know. I tried to think whose ways I’ve rather liked recently, and the first to leap to mind was C.J. from the Eggheads. Don’t ask me. That was just the first figure to mind. After Stephen Fry.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Not living up to my own expectations.

5. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

The tendency to dismiss other people, views and experiences as worthless or ‘wrong’.

6. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

I have to agree with Thailand Gal (Chani) – it’s being ‘hard working’. You have to see the bigger picture and the people around you – not just your own little treadmill.

7. On what occasion do you lie?

Polite lies – “I really enjoyed the dinner.” Or “I would love to come but I’m too busy that day.”

8. What do you dislike most about your appearance?

Probably my shyness – that has an effect on one’s demeanour. πŸ™‚

9. What is your greatest regret?

Not knowing older family members better, including my dad who died when I was 24.

10. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

A lad from Singapore. He came the closest to accepting me for who I was.

11. Which talent would you most like to have?

Clearer, more fluent speech.

12. What is your current state of mind?

‘Hunger’ seems to be the best description – not for food, but for all the things I want to say and achieve right now. I want more hours in the day.

13. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I have to say it, because it’s true – I would welcome nice crisp hearing, just a little bit better than everybody else’s! Just for a change.

14. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

2002 Winning the British Mensa Championsh…. oh, wait! That wasn’t me, that was C.J.
Several times Best in Show Oriental… nuh uh, that was Sharky.
Er.
Oh I know… getting born. All those other spermatazoa were loooooosers.

15. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

A cat – claws and all.

16. What is your most treasured possession?

My little house.

17. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

When I worry that nobody understands where I’m coming from and is not prepared to try. A sinking suspicion that people are too busy going round and round in their hamster wheels to stop and really connect.

18. Where would you like to live?

Kenya – or a more rural area of Scotland.

19. What is your most marked characteristic?

Worry.

20. Who are your favorite writers?

Among them: Tove Jansson, Terry Pratchett, Larry Niven, Orson Scott Cart, Neil M Gunn.

21. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Same as Chani’s – Anne Shirley. She was a writer and a dreamer. I tried to come up with somebody different, but got stuck. Moominmamma? You’d all think I was crazy.

22. Who are your heroes in real life?

My family and pets… apart from that, I don’t know. I don’t know anybody that well.

23. What is it that you most dislike?

Loud ways, narrow-mindedness.

24. What is your motto?

‘It will all be the same in a hundred years.’

25. Favorite journey?

Chuffing across Kenya by overnight train. Dreamy.

26. What do you value most in your friends?

Willingness to communicate; reliability; kindness.

27. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

“Personally…”
“What?”
“Oddly enough…”
“I was just thinking…”
“Sigh.”

28. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

GMB (without the drinking)!! If you could call him a historical figure. He certainly liked his history.

29. What is your greatest extravagance?

Books. Bears. Gifts. Nice furnishings for my Most Treasured Possession.

30. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

Their age – I would roll it back.

31. What is your favorite occupation?

Pottering around at home.

32. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Connection of minds.

33. What is the quality you most like in a man?

Connection of minds.

34. How would you like to die?

In my sleep.

35. If you could chose what to come back as, what would it be?

A cat – a well-loved one in a warm home.

Comments for this entry (during its previous life in Blogigo):

1. ThomasLB wrote at Dec 1, 2007 at 22:01: I can relate to #15. I wouldn’t mind coming back as a cat – but I want to come back as *my* cat, and I’m not sure that’s allowed.

2. Diddums wrote at Dec 1, 2007 at 22:34: That could be the basis for an interesting science fiction novel! Especially if the cat was aware he used to be his owner.

3. Pacian wrote at Dec 2, 2007 at 14:12: Now this one, I’m definitely stealing.

Dizzying Realms of Fantasy

In the space of a few heartbeats I flit, between the storm-dazzled room in The Sound of Music, earthquake-rocked Japan in The Ginger Tree (Oswald Wynd), and that beautifully tended street in Desperate Housewives. Or I’m in the island jungle in Lost, waiting expectantly for Jack the doctor to make all the decisions. Or I’m a crew member on board the Starship Enterprise, living a dull, routine existence, watching the officers having interplanetary adventures without me.

I never seem to be HERE, getting on with MY life. There are so many alternative existences, so clear in my mind, that I’m not sure who I am any more.

It’s like those quizzes we can visit whenever we’re bored. Which fantasy/sci-fi character are you? Which Disney princess? Which tree, Christmas tree or flower? What kind of cat; what sort of bird? Who in Peanuts and The Lord of the Rings do you most resemble? Which animal has taken up residence in your personality? And, if you’re really bored, what swear word are you?

I’m Ivanova from Babylon 5.
I’m Pippin, Cinderella and Sally.
I’m a self-willed fig tree, caring lily, and a pure white shining Christmas tree.
I’m a buttery bobolink, and quiet lynx.
I’m three times a snake of shy aspect.
I’m a glowing moonstone or rose-tinted pearl, landed forever with mushroom bears.
I’m not some swear word and haven’t looked to see. Diddums doesn’t turn the air blue (much).

Does anyone go around out there, wondering if they might be me? “You are Diddums!” (“Oh no,” they cry. “I hoped I might be Princess Di”.).

Well…

With the help of books and technology, I reach into the fabric of the world and become part of it, or it becomes part of me. I am everyone and everything – but I don’t know who I am myself, or where I might be found.

Two Snakes
Graphic by Diddums, 2006