OK, I was already thinking about buying it, but said to myself, “Delilah, how long do you think that pretty design will last? It will start to fade after the first wash, with bits falling off and cracks appearing, and in the end you will be left with a skimpy khaki T-shirt with an indescribable splodge on the front.”
I was about to fold it back up and replace it on the pile, but others finished buying what they were buying and chivvied me to ‘hurry up’ because they were going now.
It seemed simpler and more ‘valid’ to buy it rather than stand there folding it up neatly… though I suppose there was a flash of something in my mind that said “They’ll go home with something nice in their bag. What about me? Last chance saloon!”
Perhaps the realization I was about to lose the T-shirt was what made me realize I did want it — it was a wake-up call.
Well, my thoughts descended into utter confusion. When you hurry people up and display impatience, they panic and drop the ball. They might forget their keys, leave the door unlocked or suddenly decide to buy a camel T-shirt. At least now I have a pretty photograph to remind myself of how it used to look, though it does currently still look like that.
Maybe I should frame it, then it will — er — fade in the sunlight? Pfft. Just wear it, enjoy it… that’s what everything is for.
I hate feeling indecisive, thinking I’m going to choose A or do X, then changing my mind and deciding to choose B or do Y… then deciding that I won’t go for either. Well, I say I ‘decide’ to do nothing, but in reality I’ll change my mind again in half an hour or possibly next week. There were two pictures I meant to upload today as wallpapers; one on Arty Site A, and the other on Arty Site B. I made sure they were clean and wearing their prettiest frocks (along with my name and address round their necks), then I wrote up my blurbs (“this is how I made this”), opened up the ‘going to load this’ window… and cancelled.
I decided one picture needed to be worked on more and I wasn’t out of options yet. As for the other… I was going to upload it because it ‘wasn’t important’. It wasn’t my usual style and the colours were too girly to please everybody… it was just a bit of fluff. Wasn’t it? Still, I cancelled.
(Hits ‘send’ and goes to bed). (No, wait; goes downstairs first for a drink). (Hang on, just remembered I left the tap running for Samson to drink from; can’t leave it running all night). (Now…. I’ve gone and forgotten what I was about).