Seeing my blog in a new light. Took a longish time off because, because, because…
One day I read something that scared me and I locked it down so no one could access it. Now I’m back again. When it comes down to it, it seems I still have the need to write, and I still like reading blogs in this corner of the blogosphere.
Wow, that word! I haven’t thought of it in so long. Blogosphere. It reminds me of innocent days when we thought more about blogs, coffee, psychology, going out, watching films and reading books than we did about viruses. To me it feels like a long time ago.
I see it in a new way.
A long time ago I deleted my WordPress app because it evolved too far and stopped working on my old iPad. That meant WordPress notifications stopped arriving and the blog retreated still further from my conscious. No more of the little elbow-jogs: “We’re here; still talking.”
Yesterday I posted my first post for a long while then realized I missed the notifications. Probably no one was reading it; they would all be gone. Still, I wanted the app back. I have a new smartphone now, so downloaded the WordPress app to that. Will continue to write posts on the iPad as it’s easier, and use the smartphone for notifications and Reader. Typical convoluted way of working — that’s me all over! Nothing new there, folks.
Looking at my blog from my phone IS new, though. Adds a little something to my life. Perhaps it will help keep my blogging on track.
I do have lockdown blues of a sort, but I think it’s deeper than just the lockdown or even the virus. The word ‘just’ doesn’t apply to that. It’s not ‘just’ a virus; it’s an evil little beast. It’s blighting the lives of millions in every corner of the world. It’s almost too large a thing to contemplate — here we sit in our bubble, eating our meals and watching TV, and nothing much seems to have changed, even while a lot is missing. I went out in the garden and a blackbird was pecking around. It turned its back on me and kept pecking, even though I was tramping around on the same lawn, taking photos of a magnolia. I wondered if it would always have done that, because I don’t remember. I think it’s used to nobody really being around any more. Perhaps I’m a slightly shattered human variation of that blackbird. Whatever this is, it’s not just lockdown blues.
What caught my attention is how this tiny microbe is so enormous a catastrophe that we can’t see all of it. It reminds me of that bit in The Sword in the Stone — the battle between Merlin and the witch — I can’t even remember her name. In the end he changes into a microbe and wins the battle. Madam Mim, says Mum! That was her name.
Old film, old story. One of my favourite books. One of my favourite authors.
Today I found that an 86 year-old member of one of my Facebook groups has died of the virus. It’s a shame because he wrote very good, very well-considered, very intelligent posts. I never talked or wrote to him but his photo became familiar. I suppose that’s going to happen… good people will be taken before their time. I’m surprised how upset I am, but there’s definitely a space there with a cold draught. I don’t want this to happen in my family and I’m very sorry it has happened in someone else’s. It’s a loss to all of us.
I’ve developed a nervous twitch!
My mother went to bed but returned and silently handed me a paperback — ‘Requiem for a Mezzo’ (Carola Dunn). I don’t know why, but it was consoling. Time to start reading again. Time to start blogging again. Time for a new phase in this lockdown.