I keep writing blog posts in bed at night on my clipboard, after which I turn off the light thinking “that’s fine, I’ll type it up tomorrow”. Then next morning I think “I don’t want to post it; it’s stupid,” and that’s that.
It occurred to me that what I’m missing from my life just now is my private journal. I used it a lot before I started blogging, then it trickled off into silence. Now I can’t find my current journal, nor can I remember what it looks like.
I picked up the A4 2008 ‘week at a glance’ diary my sister got for me; I was supposed to put dog-walking engagements in it, but I don’t walk dogs any more. Thundercloud’s owner got a companion, and the companion does the dog-walking. Anyway, I decided I might as well use the 2008 diary till I discovered where my real journal has disappeared to.
I feel better. 🙂 But I will let you have the following:
Monday 13 October 2008
Mum gets irritable if I watch newsy things on finances, so I only watch them when she’s not looking, with the sound turned off.
Tuesday 14 October 2008
Mum tried to pay her bill at (a shop) but the guy wasn’t there – has gone on holiday till next week.
I said “well it will give time for that cheque to clear,” and Mum said “it’s already in – I checked this morning!” I was surprised at the speed of it, and asked “are you sure? One of the other bloggers checked her hole-in-the-wall statement and it said she had ‘x amount’ in her account, so she tried to draw out some money, and it said she couldn’t. She asked inside, and they said she didn’t actually have that amount. She would have it next week, but it wasn’t there today.” Mum frowned and said sternly, “If MY bank did that to me, I would immediately switch.” Remembering that HER bank was currently swaying in the slightest breeze, I couldn’t help smiling wryly. But it’s all very confusing.
Other things we meant to do fell through too. We were too chilled and unenthusiastic to hang about, so we went home without buying any food.
While looking for my current journal, I found an older, completed, one. There was this entry:
Saturday 8 January 2006
…I told Mum if there was an award for salesmen who can talk without stopping to draw breath, I would give it to him. There’s nothing worse – the last thing one needs is long sentences… speeches. Easier to chop them up into bits when you’re not following very well – makes it easier, I mean. Like hitting a ball back and forth – yes? yes! yes! yes? Rather than the whole of Swan Lake followed by drooping silence (“huh?”).
Just putting that thought into words.
I wanted to be shown things – “this is the close-up filter, it’s £15.”
“OK, and this is the skylight filter…”
I felt instead I had to stare at each item for a long time while he talked and occasionally the others interrupted to ask something – and he’d already sold it to me the moment he got it off the hook and put it on the table!
In spite of that, I really wasn’t bad – there have been days I was feeling much more claustrophobic, especially in camera shops.
Tuesday 10 January 2006
Last night I took the tree down and actually cried! I had to lie down to recover – that might have been the last time I ever take it down. New Christmas tree for next year.
Oh look…. I mentioned the ‘C’ word.