Through a Distorted Lens, Dottily

Normally, around this time of year, I’m muttering about crowded cafés, shops, streets and roads. Not so much this year! For a couple of weeks now I’ve been smiling happily, feeling warm and giving… I suspect it has something to do with the art sites I frequent. When people are being people around you, having their quirks, weaknesses, concerns and their strengths (largely the creative process, or at least the desire to do well at it) – it gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling!

When folk come along and add your work to their favourites, that doesn’t hurt either… all sorts of people, from teenage girls to 65 year-old guys in Finland. You have something in common with them and so you’re no longer thinking (for example) that older people play Bridge rather than get on the net, or that younger people are an alien species who lurk on street corners. When I was 16, if I’d known other 16 year-olds who were keen to share their passion for drawing, painting or photography with me, I’d have been delighted. Who knows what difference the internet would have made to me at that age?

Getting back to my recent resurgence of love and goodwill to all humankind, a possible factor is that phenomenon I mentioned in an earlier blog post: when I don’t do something very much, I glide through it with ease. If I was going to town every other day, I’d be a lot grumpier than I am now.

A couple of days ago, Mum asked me why I was grinning. I told her I got a new comment on my ‘introvert bloggers’ post and was thinking about how disastrous it would be if the internet collapsed all of a sudden. “Imagine life without it,” I said.

“Aiee!” said Mum, then (after a pause), “introverts have a warped view of life.”

Pushing away the niggling thought that I have a tendency to ‘think’ myself into tight corners, I said “but you’re an introvert yourself.”
“Yes – I’m an introvert.”
“Though you have lots of friends and sit on all those committees.”
“When I was your age, I wouldn’t have been able to give speeches and talks, but it’s not so bad now. Anyway, we can’t let idiots run everything.”
“By idiots… do you mean extroverts?”
“Er… more or less. There’s usually a balance.”
“Extroverts go out and do stuff without thinking, while introverts think about things so much they don’t want to do them?”
“Something like that.”

Hmm…

A stray memory surfaced in my mind just now. I was working on a large poster with a friend in art class at school. It was beginning to grate on me that she was so bossy; she would say “do this” and we did it all her way, though I was a better artist. I found I was scared to touch the picture without permission. Further back in this post I was complaining that I couldn’t share the fun of artwork with friends (apart from the odd scribble with felt tip pens), but what was going on here was not sharing.

One day I decided it was my picture too, and I was jolly well going to put some dots in. Of course they looked terrible, and if I’d been in my right senses I would never have bothered with them. When my friend saw them, she got very cross and painted all the dots out again, and I didn’t object. She was completely unaware, I think, that I hadn’t put the dots in because I wanted dots… I’d put them in to assert myself a little.

This is doubtless one good reason why introverts and extroverts don’t always work well together. If someone you know at work or school is acting mulishly, throwing senseless spanners in the works, it’s possible that something similar is going on. If you don’t want me to break out in a rash of dots, don’t boss me. (Ahem).

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7 responses

  1. shussmallworld | Reply

    Hey, Diddums — Pearl has tagged Samson with a meme at the end of the Fried Day post on our blog 🙂

    Shu

  2. shussmallworld | Reply

    Now to comment on your perceptive post! Very well put! I mentioned in an earlier post of mine about temperament typing and how startlingly perceptive that was — and in reading up on the different types and realizing the different ways we take in information, perceive the world, and are perceived by others, I felt I had a new ‘secret weapon’ for trying to work alongside folks who had previously driven me nuts (most still do, but now I have a better understanding of why):-) I’m an introvert, too, more precisely an INFP 🙂 As challenging at that makes swimming through life for me, I wouldn’t be any other way.

    And you are right! If they’d “had” the internet back in the dark ages when I was a young(er) (;-)) girl, I’d’ve ruled the universe. Maybe!

    Shu

  3. Hi Shu, I will send Samson round to have a look. 🙂

    Your post on temperament typing sounds interesting, I will have to try and find it. I’m an INFP too, but I can’t even remember what it means.

  4. “Extroverts go out and do stuff without thinking, while introverts think about things so much they don’t want to do them?”

    I would say tat it’s not that we don’t want to do them…we just can’t decide on *what* to do about them.
    I think you’re right…for me it’s the deciding what to do part…after that I’m usually fine. I’ve never been a leader…but I find in group projects I end up taking hte lead as I tend to be the least…pushy…and can get everyone to do things. I get involved in group things often just to give the group “bully” someone to butt up against to remind them they are being a bully. 🙂

    It’s odd tho-any presentation or thing for work and I’m not nervous or bothered at all. I do it well and efficiently and am not nervouse at all…just in the rest of my life. I’ve always wondered why. I’m an INFP. So is my husband. Lets just say even deciding on what to have for takeout is a loooong process!

  5. sorry about the wonky typing…:)

  6. I think the internet would have helped boost my confidence when I was younger. I was extremely shy. Now I work in customer service and have even give a couple of presentations. I didn’t enjoy them but I managed without being obviously nervous. I felt inwardly nervous but my attitude was almost nonchalent. I knew it would be over in a matter of an hour or two. As a child I would have been a nervous wreck and liable to pretend sickness to get out of it.

  7. I never did get used to the more ‘public’ stuff (meetings and so on) but I suppose with age I would mellow…

    I know the feeling of not being able to decide on a takeout! Sometimes I wish it was a case of “hamburger or veggieburger…. take it or leave it!”

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