Last night I dreamed we saw two down-and-outs featured on the News – “two beautiful men in a ditch”. They lived in Edinburgh somewhere in the centre of town. They were intelligent and well-read as well as handsome, and had been interviewed giving some of their views on modern society.
My friends were so fascinated by these interesting people that we decided to visit Edinburgh to see if we could spot them. Of course they had no fixed abode that we knew of, but we began searching the edge of a forest park, armed with cameras and binoculars.
In no time at all we discovered them living in two neighbouring hollowed-out trees. One of them had been given free tins of olive green paint, and was redecorating the inside of his.
I didn’t like that colour at all, having worked to eradicate all traces of it from my own home (it’s tricky covering that stuff with pale paint), but when he told me the reason he was doing it was because he’d seen me some time earlier, and was making his tree all nice for when we got married, I couldn’t help feeling quite chuffed.
This famous, intelligent and beautiful tramp could have had his pick of anyone in Edinburgh – and he’d chosen me.