Life flows through your hands like water, and it’s impossible to hold onto any of it. I endeavour to assimilate all my thoughts and experiences, and in one sense they become a part of me, but in another they are lost from view.
It’s like roaming a dark attic, playing a torch over the bags and boxes assembled there. You highlight the items that please or surprise you, and pass quickly over anything with more negative associations.
If you read a brilliant blog post, you might feel it should change the world simply because it’s there and has been written. You might link to it; send your friends and family to read it; talk to the blogger who wrote it… but then what? It could be that everybody you know agrees, and says “yes, that was a jolly good blog post,” or (more likely) says nothing at all. And life goes on as usual.
It slips your own mind, and tomorrow you’re raving about somebody else’s post; a news article; a TV programme; a book; a picture; a cartoon; a letter in a magazine. Or you’re staring vaguely at the leaves stirring on a tree, thinking about nothing much at all.
The fact that I keep those ‘things’ in my attic, I suppose, speaks volumes. Sometimes I get them out again and dust them off. Always, they colour my thoughts and affect my choices.
Last Monday I changed the screensaver on my PC. For a while a marquee scrolled across it in a shocking pink, proclaiming that “Diddums is working hard.” Then I changed it to “Diddums is moving house.” That stayed there for months, till I got bored with all the unfulfilled suspense, so I switched the screensaver to a random slide show of my pictures.
Having spent so much time on my wallpapers and fractals, I was half expecting those to show up in a bombastic display of glittering talent. Instead, I received bits and pieces of my life from the dustiest corners of my attic, such as:
* photos of cats long since gone;
* a pair of bears with their heads together;
* cat show rosettes;
* the view from my house after a snowstorm;
* a shot of the river during a sunny summer walk with Thundercloud;
* a flying dragon;
* fuzzy NASA photo of a nebula (playfully phased up out of the blackness of my desktop);
* one of my all-time favourite wallpapers – Endless Blue by Digital Blasphemy.
Each one shows up for five seconds then is gone, replaced by the next in line. A constant string of images and impressions which might return periodically, or perhaps never.
Story of my life.
Comments for this entry (during its previous life on Blogigo):
1. Bunnyman wrote at Jun 7, 2007 at 13:15: Story of my memory.
But I remember that view into the snow, if it’s the same one you posted a while back.
No tempting pictures of delicious chocolate nibbles in there I hope?
2. Pacian wrote at Jun 7, 2007 at 18:20: Nothing is forever.
3. Diddums wrote at Jun 7, 2007 at 22:36: You remember the snow picture. :-). It was a variation of that, but the little one you mention showed up as well. I don’t think I have any pictures of chocolate – just as well!