The Old Stories Still Alive and Kicking in 2007

On Sunday night I found myself acting out a curried version of Little Miss Muffet. Tikka Masala was on my plate, all steaming hot and spicy, and I turned round just in time to meet a small black figure abseiling down from the ceiling. It was coasting so rapidly it nearly smacked into my food, but I snatched my plate to the side while the spider juddered to a screeching halt. We stared at each other for a minute, face to face in the middle of the kitchen, then I oozed round it and headed off with my curry, while it got on with its military operations.

Last week I was watching Ugly Betty and laughed at the expression on someone’s face. Usually I laugh so quietly I don’t think of it as being like anybody’s in particular. But this was quite loud for me; a short hooting chuckle – and it was definitely my dad’s laugh.

Sometimes I feel he’s not quite gone. We were never ones for visiting tombstones or keeping ashes – that’s not where ‘they’ are. It’s easier to believe he’s with us – goes where we go; sits in our chairs; watches our televisions; laughs at Ugly Betty’s dad. He probably wishes I’d watch more football and racing – instead, he’s learning all about fractal art and blogging. Well, me too – me too.

Packing update: we came to a bit of an impasse. Mum’s big room upstairs (which is to be my office-cum-sitting room) is packed with stuff and we need more room for the hi-fi cabinet. We also have to get my computer desk in, and this will be nasty to move, being a large corner desk.

I have two computers and it surprises me how there don’t seem to be any desks built to take two! I imagine computers are meant to have one desk each, but then, where do you put the printer that they share?

Mum said “where will you put the hi-fi cabinet?” and I said “there, where the bear shelves are.”
“OK. Where will you put the bear shelves?”
“Over there, where the display cabinet is.”
“Ah. So… where is the display cabinet going?”
“Uh… further up, I suppose. Nearer where the desk is going to be. When we get the day bed out of here.”
“We can’t get the day bed out of here till E has made room in her loft.”
“So, when…?”
“Not till she’s finished her editing work. Do you think she would let us make a start on her loft without her?”
“Probably not!”
“Well, we’re stuck for the time being…”

Later she said, all of a sudden, “Dog bite pig.”

“What? Dog bite pig?”

She was referring to an old fairy story I only vaguely remembered… something along the lines of:

An old woman was driving her pig to market, and tried to get it to jump the stile, but it wouldn’t. So she said, “dog, dog, bite pig, so that pig will jump the stile, so that I can go to market.”
But dog wouldn’t bite pig.
So she said, “stick, stick, beat dog, so that dog will bite pig, so that pig will jump stile, so that I can go to market.”
But stick wouldn’t beat dog.
So she said, “fire, fire, burn stick, so that stick will beat dog, so that dog will bite pig, so that pig will jump stile, so that I can go to market.”
But fire wouldn’t burn stick.
So she said, “water, water, drench fire, so that fire will burn stick, so that stick will beat dog, so that dog will bite pig, so that pig will jump stile, so that I can go to market.”
Water obligingly trickled over and drenched fire… so fire burned stick; stick beat dog; dog bit pig; pig jumped stile, and our little old woman finally got on with her day.

I probably missed an important fillip or two, but that’s the gist of it!

Water, water…. where are you?

Comments for this entry (during its previous life on Blogigo):

1. kateblogs wrote at Apr 3, 2007 at 18:17: Computer desks are very badly designed – most seem to be only suitable for one user – I wonder if they think we all stand around them like a family in an AOL advert LOL.

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