Well, it may seem odd, but I’m not fully blocked by this Bloggers Block thing… I can always think of something to write about, and the desire is still there. It’s the mechanics of it now; the writing down my thoughts and pushing the right buttons to get them out there. If I could just have my thoughts go straight to blog, there would be no problem!
The above two articles on bloggers block are rather good. In fact I didn’t finish reading either of them, as I was already feeling inspired! I love exhortations to keep a writing journal — a fund of ideas and fleeting impressions! I have my big journal where I write out my thoughts at length, but should also have a pocket journal for ideas. Currently I note down ideas on scrap paper and even on the computer, but they do get lost. A journal would keep them all together.
I should trawl the computer for all those scattered ‘blog idea’ notes and put them in one place. I also have a folder of ‘bloggable bookmarks’, many of which have probably already gone from the internet… but the general picture is that my ideas outrun my activity, if that makes any sense.
I already gave two links to the wallpaper forum on ‘art block’:
Creative block can have to do with negative feedback, obstructions and self-doubts… though an article on ‘Life Block’ that I found today suggests that all these various blocks (which I’d been thinking of in separate terms) can go hand in hand: Facing Down Life Block.
It makes sense, although doubtless you can get the separate blocks on their own. As all agoraphobics know, however, these hang-ups have an unfortunate habit of spreading. I was writing something in my journal the other day about the deaf being prone to lack of self-confidence. So much of the time I would mishear things or miss vital information without realizing; when you have the wrong impressions, you are more likely to do or say something wrong. And so I will avoid doing something irreversible unless someone can say for sure “yes, that’s right — go ahead.” At one time I even avoided packing the boot of the car, as someone (the driver) always came along and pulled out the things I had just put in, and repacked everything! As a result you just put bags on the ground and leave the actual packing to the one who’s in charge… you know they think you’re being lazy or useless, but this is part of your negative life experience.
I don’t think I’m as lazy as I seem… I hang back.
Sometimes I remember two dogs we used to have — mother and daughter. The daughter was always very nervous and shy, and looked to the mother to do everything first, and then she would follow. I thought she would be lost when the mother finally passed on, but I was wrong… after that time, the daughter was happier and more at peace! Perhaps she felt that now she was top dog (only dog), her actions were not going to be questioned. And as no one was questioning her actions, and her actions were only affecting herself, she couldn’t be wrong any more.
It’s not only about our confidence and enthusiasm being affected; it’s about overload, sometimes. There are all these different projects I want to get on with: blogging, digital art, photography, databases (books and inventories), short stories, family history, cross stitch, rug-making, teddy-bear making, scrapbooking, beading… and if you are spending time on one thing, you are fretting about all the others you are not doing. Even within one project there’s a pile-up… a pile-up of pictures I could be creating, or a pile-up of blog ideas. Different people I could be emailing or writing letters to. You name it. Sometime I think I watch TV as a refuge!
Talking of which, we have cancelled our Sky TV subscription. Not just the movies (which we cancelled long ago) but all of it. It is a luxury we can no longer afford. Freeview and Freesat will do us just fine, along with a haphazard collection of DVDs (when I can get the ones I know are subtitled). Of course we were stuck with this crazy situation of having to phone when wanting to cancel (there’s no big red ‘CANCEL’ button on the site), which makes things especially difficult for deaf people. Mum didn’t want to mess around in phone queues (her hearing isn’t so good either these days), so I sent Sky an email to say we are cancelling.
Mary Portas has a campaign going just now… she says the British have put up with poor, bad-tempered, soulless service in the high street for too long, and it’s time we voted with our feet. But I wonder if such a campaign can be extended to include things like not being able to cancel online? Mum said she has a horrid feeling it’s up to the customer to leave (when we figure out how!), but when many alternative outfits (including among ISPs) also seem to demand that you cancel by phone, it doesn’t leave you with a lot of choice. At least after leaving Sky we are not stuck and can still watch TV. Though probably I would be better off using that time to break through my various blocks.