Aw Diddums

I had another blog post in mind for tonight but wasn’t feeling particularly chirpy… it will keep for tomorrow. I thought I had been getting on OK with a particular crowd (nothing to do with blogging), then realized some of them would talk to the ‘usual’ people while leaving me out, no matter how often my name came up in the conversation. There seemed no particular reason for it, and maybe there really wasn’t one; it was just habit. I know people communicate in different ways and probably aren’t thinking about it that hard.

I realized today that the same crowd talk to each other on another site… could well be why they feel they all know each other, whereas I’m not one of the merry band. It’s just sheer coincidence that I turned up there anyway.

Goodness, I do know that people have different conversational habits and needs and sometimes don’t realize how they are coming across; the other night I spent an hour or two designing a silly 3D kitchen for my sister (using daft graphics as textures and patterns) because I thought it would make her laugh. Her email response was: “too modern”. I know she probably laughed anyway, and it’s her habit to make the short, dry understatement; she’s known for it. We make jokes about how “quite nice” is high praise coming from her. It’s just that sometimes I need evidence of that laugh… or a watery smile would do.

There’s nothing worse than being demanding or pushing for attention, but sometimes being patient and accepting gets very hard… why did it come in mind that someone blogged today (or recently) about patience being active rather than passive? I think it was a post for BlogFriday’s word ‘active’, come to think of it. It’s a state of mind that has to be kept in place despite all wobbles.

I wound up in a fit of the doldrums and trailed off to watch my TV at the back of the room, Delilah purring on my lap. We watched Celebrity Come Dine with Me, Cotton Wool Kids, and something about Chinese schoolchildren slaving away for their exams. There were some very young kids in the programme and Delilah turned round and stared. I think she would have batted cat toys around for them if they had been in the room.

Eventually I rose to check for messages on the new site. Earlier I’d seen someone’s name there, someone I liked normally but didn’t talk much to, and left a quick message saying “hi, it’s me from (the other site), just thought I would say hello.” I kept it short and casual as she probably wouldn’t want to be conversational. I checked my messages and there was one from her, saying “oh, great to see you here! (Hugs). What a surprise. Do you know X, Y, and Z are here too?”

And… I felt so much better! Well the sadness won’t go away just like that, especially as I now have a headache (aw diddums), but it was wonderful to be greeted so pleasantly! Tomorrow perspective will return – but has already made a start, sending me the estimated arrival time of its train. And then I will write the other blog post I was planning.

Just passing these along… hugs to anyone out there who needed a few.